Self pleasure with sex toys (2)

Updated: Jan 8, 2020

Many adults have grown up believing that self pleasure is a sign of weakness. It may be that they have been told by their church, parents or school that masturbation is wrong and immoral or that they must save themselves for when they are married!

Fortunately, we have come a long way in regard to such uptight attitudes. A far greater proportion of adults now feel freedom to masturbate if that is what they wish to do. It may be that they do so in secret and tell no-one, or they may be more open about their play with adult toys or sex toys.

It is my opinion, that men, being more sexually driven than women, are liable to have more likely self pleasured, regardless of what they were told to do! Resisting sexual pleasure when a person is frustrated requires an exceptional amount of discipline.

I think it is more likely that the relaxation of attitudes towards self pleasure are more likely to have benefitted women. It may be that women were always curious to masturbate but for whatever reason felt that it was the wrong thing to do and as a consequence supressed the urge.

Whether we like it or not, or whether we want to accept it or not, we are only human. We have hormones raging around our bodies and we are biologically programmed to want sex. Other motivations of the body include the need to sleep, eat, drink and excrete bodily waste. Over-riding a primal drive is a tough ask.

If we are fortunate enough to have a sexual partner then we are liable to be able to have regular sexual satisfaction. But what if we are single or our partner is away. Are we to grin and bear it despite our pent up sexual feelings?

I believe we have a right to pleasure our own bodies if we choose to do so. I do not think it is something we need to be ashamed of or something for which we can be critisised or chastised for.

Some people who are in relationships find it very difficult explaining to their partner that they have a need or desire to masturbate. It may well be that the other partner does not need to masturbate or perhaps they have less of a libido so the idea of sex toys or large silicone dongs are quite foreign.

Some partners feel hurt, angry or confused if their find out their other half self pleasures. It may be that they feel that if their partner does this then it means they are not pleasing them enough. Sometimes feelings of insecurity and inadequacy are liable to arise.

If a person is in a controlling relationship, it may be that their partner enforces a no self pleasure ban upon them. It is my opinion that no-one has the right to exert such control over you. Unless of course you wish to relinquish this power as you are engaged in a BDSM role play relationship.

If your partner is uncomfortable with you masturbating then this is something which would be helpful if the two of you can sit down and discuss possibly with a counsellor.

Sometimes masturbation is a healthy and positive release. Sometimes our partners do not satisfy us - this is not to say we do not love or care for them. Relaxed attitudes towards self pleasure is a good thing - we do not need to be imprisoned from experiencing a basic human right.

Masturbation for men and women can be very helpful for mental health and wellbeing which is why their is such an impetus on sexual aids such as platinum silicone dongs or large silicone dildos or sex machines such as Sybian for women.

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