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Strange places to have sex (8)

Continuing our amusing look at places where sex toy lovers have had sex or fantasized about it, our next location is the festival portaloo.

Traditionally when you attend a festival there are fields of mud everywhere and lots of people not terribly coherent from too much over indulgence. However if you hook up with someone popping in a portaloo may not be there first place you would think of. Again here we have adult toy lovers reporting a quick bunk up in another toilet!

The thing that puts us off this location in particular is that inevitably there toilets get, shall we say, a lot of traffic and therefore are really not the cleanest toilets in the country.

Therefore, you would have to be pretty horny and desperate for two of you to squeeze into one of these dirty confined spaces and get semi naked and down to business.

Plus, they are not terribly secure and if there are not that many toilets you would invariably be met with cries of "are you nearly done in there?" by others dying for the loo.

One interesting fantasy that a couple of sex toy lovers suggested in our survey is that they would like to have sex in an ice cream van of all places. We are not sure of the appeal but from what they said it is largely to do with the abundance of Mr Whippy ice cream which they could strategically place over their partners bodies.

Furthermore, they said they also planned to strategically place ice cream over their large silicone dongs or huge silicone dildos and use it to tease one another. Another benefit would be the supply of chocolate flakes which some sex toy lovers like to include in their sex games.

Another fantasy that some of our sex toy loving customers suggested was in space. We think this is to do with the zero gravity but wouldn't you need to keep your space suit on so how exactly do you plan on having penetration? Maybe it would be better to stay largely suited in your space attire and instead have some fun with your large silicone dildo or other platinum silicone dong.

Moving on, we found that one response from a pair of sex mad adult toy lovers was that they had sex in their neighbour's back garden! Apparently they really despised their neighbour so when it was late at night they would sneak in to his garden and get naked. Very risky but from what they told us they loved every minute of it!

We are now coming to the end of this series of sex in strange places which adult toy lovers have told us about. But before we finish here are a few more volunteered anecdotes - some kinky people have said that they like to do it under the bed rather than on the bed. Surely that can't be comfortable!

Furthermore, we have heard of adult toy lovers fantasising about having sex in the back of a chaffeur driven limo while the unsuspecting driver takes them home.

The final unusual place that sex toy lovers told us was in the woods. It must be the fresh woodland air and all the nature around them that gets them feeling frisky but beware there are usually many a dog walker around in those sorts of areas!

Wherever you have sex (assuming it is out of the bedroom) be careful and consider your audience so no minors are exposed to your antics. Remember to take your large silicone dongs or jumbo silicone dildos with you too as you never know when they will come in handy. Just remember to keep some lubricant with you too!

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