All things anal - well almost

If you have found yourself exploring the John Thomas range of dildos, it is likely that your sexual proclivities are a little beyond vanilla. Whilst our ‘small’ range of sizes are for absolutely everyone - as you progress into the larger sizes you are moving into the realms of experimental and ‘extreme’ play.

At John Thomas we fondly call this the ‘Journey’ and it is one you must take with

A) time

B) education and

C) safety

Regardless of gender, this blog is for you (we will explore extreme play for gender genitalia separately) and will guide you through the ‘Journey’.

AT THE START there are many reasons you will find yourself contemplating ass play - you’ve found yourself just slipping a finger up your butt, imagining getting assfucked, or you like being assfucked but maybe your experience so far has left you with questions, this guide will take you through it all - step by step.

This blog is for those who

A) would like to enjoy anal sex but are having difficulties

B) those who have been asked by someone to take part in anal sex but have never done it before or

C) anyone realising they have an anal kink and wish to explore it

D) experienced players looking for guidance on introducing someone new

The anus, rectum, and connecting areas are filled with many nerve endings capable of helping you achieve a range of sensations and hitting orgasms you never knew possible. This means that everyone, irrespective of gender, can enjoy the sensation of stimulating this delicate area through penetration with tongues, fingers, toys, and more. If you have ever wondered what leads someone into extreme play - the universal answer is ‘the feeling it gives them’ - that feeling may be different for everyone and that is the journey. But there is another aspect to it and that is - the thrill of not just learning what your body is capable of but also how far you can train it.

In this blog, we will cover:

• What is my first step in anal play?

• How do I clean and prepare for anal?

• How do I play safely?

• How do I discuss anal with my partner?

  
  

What is my First Step in Anal Play? 

Firstly, anal play can be anything from touching to penetration. Touching does generally lead to penetration and once you have experienced those sensations it is normal to want to take it to the next step. Generally, the anus has spent all its life leading objects in a one-way direction - out. Between the inner and outer sphincter is an area referred to as the ‘detection chamber’. This is where the body decides if it’s just air needing a discreet exit or if there is solid matter requiring a visit to the facilities. For the body to accept something travelling in the opposite direction you do need some form of preparation or training. Whilst there are many a sexual encounter that has led to ‘unprepared for’ anal penetration most people will agree that it is a much more pleasurable experience when you are prepared.

Most people start Anal Play with exterior stimulation and gentle penetration.  Try out different external anal sensations.

Rimming, stimulating your anus externally, is the normal first step into anal play. Here are a few ways you can explore rimming:

• Apply some lube to your fingers and slowly move around your anus in a circular motion

• You can try toys of all descriptions, stimulate yourself with a variety of motions

• If you are doing this with a partner, they can help with touching, licking and probing

• As you’re stimulating yourself externally, insert your toy or fingers just a little; get used to the feeling of insertion

While exploring anal stimulation, you can also work on your genitals, either with fingers, toys or using a masturbator.  Or a partner.

Once you are happy that anal play is your thing, you can move onto anal sex either with a partner or with small toys.

Step 1: Lube is your friend. The rectum is not naturally lubricated and you will need to prepare well for any form of safe anal play. There is a huge range of lubricants available, and we recommend a high-quality lubricant to ensure safe play.  Lubricant comes readymade or as a powder for you to prepare at will.  When you are starting out the former is ideal and you can try lots of different kinds till you find the one you like the most. Powder forms are generally used by more experienced players as it is more economic when using higher quantities. You need a long lasting slick lubricant - it will make all anal play more comfortable, avoid tearing or damage and assist the whole ‘stretching’ experience. Silicone lube is considered the slipperiest, smoothest, and most long-lasting lube on the market, but it cannot be used with silicone toys as it can melt and degrade them. As all John Thomas toys are made from body safe platinum silicone we do not recommend or sell the silicone lubricants - whilst you may not notice the damage initially, the degradation can go unnoticed whilst leading to a porous surface and breeding ground for bacteria. Please also steer clear of using household alternatives as there are hidden risks with these. We recommend water based lubricants specifically designed for use with your silicone toys as it is the only way to ensure safe use.

Step 2 : Cleansing Routine. There are two sides to this. Keeping yourself clean and keeping your toys clean. Firstly - keeping your toys clean. It should be a ritual of starting and finishing the process by ensuring your toys are clean and ready for use and then stored away clean and safely. Jump to our section "looking after your toys" for more guidance. Secondly - keeping yourself clean. It is an important aspect of anal play to feel ready and willing, but anal play can be off-putting to many simply because faecal matter is not something most want to play with (that’s a different kink).  If you are hesitant to explore anal play for this reason, making this part of your foreplay will take away any uncomfortable thoughts and leave you ready to play. A great way to make this part of your routine is to use it to warm yourself up. A little sensual TLC while cleaning works wonders.

Step 3: Get turned on and warm up.  For an activity like anal play, you can’t just dive into it without titillating the senses. The best way to get your body ready is foreplay. When you plan to anal train, stick to what you know turns you on.  Use your favourite toys, play with a partner, watch your favourite porn, etc.  Anal play might just be part of your fantasy so explore all your fantasies - your mind needs just as much warming up as your body.

Step 4: Try out different external anal sensations.  Once your body is warm, sensitive, and heightened, it’s time to explore.  Rimming, stimulating your anus externally, is a great way to warm up and get ready to receive more. Here are a few ways you can explore rimming (explained above).  While exploring anal stimulation, you can also work on your other areas, either manually or using a masturbator.

Step 5: Slow your breath and allow your body to fully relax. You might want music or porn on in the background, this can help you stay in the right headspace. As you play with yourself, don’t forget to breathe and relax your body.

Step 6: Insert fingers before inserting large objects into your hole - start small so you don’t hurt yourself. Start with fingers or very slim plugs/anal toys (beads and plugs are great for your first-time toy penetration).

You can thrust your fingers/toy in and out or you can simply leave them there while you feel pleasure in other ways. For some people, their limit is a small plug or finger, and that’s totally fine. If you do not want to stretch further than small toys or fingers, your anal training is complete!

How to Clean & Prepare for Anal Play 

Cleaning for anal play depends on what type of anal play you’ll be doing, but we do recommend cleaning the anus externally and having a bowel movement no matter what play you'll be doing.

Cleaning & Preparing for Fingers, Average-Sized Toys, and Anal Sex 

We recommend using an enema bulb for most types of anal play. An enema bulb will clean out the sphincter and rectum well; douching is not necessary. Enema bulbs are tools that look like a lightbulb and are filled with water to be squirted up your butt. They feature a slim insertable end that will shoot water up your rectum that you will expel to clear it all out.

How to Clean With an Enema Bulb 

1. Don’t eat or drink at least an hour before and be sure to have a bowel movement

2. Clean yourself at least 1-2 hours before anal play

3. Fill the enema bulb with lukewarm water – don’t fill it all the way! We recommend filling it roughly one third of the way full. If a quarter full isn’t enough, re-fill it in ⅓ increments as you clean. 

4. Lube up the tip 

5. Squeeze the bulb gently.  You don’t want to squirt too much water quickly. Your body’s reaction might be to expel the water immediately, and that could be messy and uncomfortable!

6. Expel the water and repeat.  After each squeeze of water, your body will push out the water and what was inside of your colon will come with it.

We recommend repeating this process until the water is relatively clear. 

Cleaning for Depth Play, Fisting, and Extra Large Toys 

Enema bulbs typically clean the rectum out pretty well, but don’t clean out the colon deeply. We recommend anal douching for any play that goes beyond the rectum. There are multiple methods you can use to douche. We will cover douching with shower attachments and water bags in this section.

How to Douche for Extreme Anal Play 

No matter how you douche, keep these essential tips in mind:

• Don’t eat or drink at least 2 hours before play.

• Have a bowel movement before cleaning. Consider taking fiber pills daily.

• Deep clean 2 hours before anal play.

• After you’ve finished cleaning, try one last time to expel any remaining water 30 minutes after the initial clean.

Shower Attachments 

Shower attachments are great for a quicker deep clean but there are more risks to using them; we do not recommend them for beginners to douching. They typically screw on to your showerhead and include a head with an insertable nozzle. Some feature a switch to adjust flow of water from the showerhead to the enema attachment, allowing you to control the water pressure (we highly recommend this version of the attachment).

Below is our step-by-step guide to using shower attachment douches:

1. Turn your shower on. Be sure the water is lukewarm. If the water is too hot, it might burn you; if it’s too cold, it could cause your muscles to contract. 

   
   

2. Get yourself situated on your toilet or remove your shower drain. You can use your shower enema in two ways: over the toilet or in your shower. If your toilet is close to your shower, you could feasibly use the hose over the toilet so you can expel into your toilet. Another way you can use your shower enema is in the shower itself. If you decide to go this route, remove your shower drain before you clean. You’re going to be cleaning everything out – so we suggest leaving it an easy exit!

   
   

3. Switch over the water flow to the shower attachment and be sure the water pressure is not strong.  The flow of water will be stronger than an enema bulb’s, but it shouldn’t be too powerful or it could cause pain or push the water too deep.

   
   

4. Lube up the nozzle and insert about an inch deep. Be sure to relax your sphincter!

   
   

5. Squirt water up for 1 to 3 seconds. Some people will let this water go right away and repeat while others hold the water for 5 to 10 seconds for a deeper clean. Do some experimentation to figure out what works for you.

   
   

6. Expel the water and repeat. 

   
   

Repeat this process until you’ve expelled everything and the water is clear.

Water Bag Enemas

Water Bags or water bottle enemas use gravity to flush water up in a slow, controlled manner. They usually feature a durable and refillable bag, long hose, an insertable tip, hook, and water flow control clamp. Below is our step-by-step guide to using water bag enemas:

1. Fill the bag with lukewarm water. The bag does not have to be filled all the way.  Filling it with lukewarm water is important. Hot water may burn you while cold water will cause your muscles to contract. Be sure the water control clamp is shut.

   
   

2. Hang the bag preferably about 18 inches above you.  Some hang their bag on their shower railing while others install a screw to hang the bag on next to the toilet. 

   
   

3. Lube up the insertable tip.

   
   

4. Get into position.  We recommend these two options for positioning yourself: lying down on your left side or getting on all fours.

   
   

5. Insert the tip entirely and open the water control clamp.

   
   

6. Let the water flow. How long you let the water flow depends on your preference. Some will allow the water to flow for 15-20 minutes before holding and expelling the water. If you do choose this method, you will have to do this process more than twice.  Others prefer to allow the entire bag to drain before holding and expelling the water. This is best. 

Note: Douching does come with risks. There is increased infection risk with this form of cleaning and potential rectum tissue damage. Following the steps above can help minimize this risk, but risk cannot be completely eradicated. We do not recommend douching more than once a week and highly recommend daily fibre pills to reduce the need for deep cleans. 

How Do I Play Safely?

There are 3 things to think of here.

1.       Safety Preparation

2.       Communication With Your Partner

3.       Anal Aftercare

Safety Preparation

It is important that you don’t walk into any form of anal play blindly. Doing your research before exploring is a great way to explore safely – you are reading this blog, so you’re definitely doing something right!  Whether you’re interested in stretching for small plugs and fingering or extra large toys, there are safety precautions to take. 

Recommendations:

• Read up on the form of play you’re interested in for specific information

• Anal Sex Basics by Carlyle Jansen

• The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino

• Anal Pleasure & Health by Jack Morin

• Purchase high quality gear to explore with (optional)

• Avoid toys made with jelly, TPE, or TPR. Toys made with these materials are porous and cannot be thoroughly cleaned. If you want to play with materials other than metal or glass, we highly recommend premium-grade silicone toys as they can be boiled and sterilized. 

• Do not use homemade gear

• If fingering is on the agenda, be sure fingernails are clipped and smooth

• Keep a first aid kit nearby. Occasionally, anal training can lead to bleeding and/or pain (following this guide will help minimize that risk). Keep a first aid kit nearby in case of any pain, and buy anal-safe creams in case of any bleeding or tearing. 

• Clean all of your gear! Reduce the chance of infections and be sure you’ve thoroughly cleaned all of your gear. This includes fingers, hands, and arms.

• Do not stick toys up that don’t have a wide base or aren’t made for thrusting. Using toys that aren’t made for anal greatly increases your risk of losing them internally.

• Use protection – gloves and condoms are great options and highly recommended. If you’re exploring fisting or fingering, latex/nitrile gloves will keep things sanitary.

Anal Safety: Communication and Consent 

In order to play safely, it is essential to acknowledge risks, communicate clearly and directly with all partners, and enthusiastically consent to all forms of play.

Risks

As with all forms of BDSM play, risks can be lessened but not eradicated. All scenes must follow the standards of RACK (Risk, Aware, Consensual Kink), PRICK: Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink and SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) play. Ensuring enthusiastic consent from all partners, having proper negotiations, and taking safety precautions will decrease risk and follow the standards of RACK and SSC.  PRICK expands on RACK and relies on you to take responsibility for informing a partner of anything they should be aware of - such as old injuries, phobias etc. These aides should make it very clear that the risks involved with anal training and anal play are very real and it is important to be informed and responsible when engaging in this type of play.

Negotiations

A good negotiation includes thorough discussion of what will be done and establishes consent for all activities involved. It is incredibly important to have an open and holistic conversation with all partners that will be involved. Here’s our quick rundown on what to discuss during your negotiations:

• Determine safe words/gestures/sounds. Establish what they mean and practice using them. It is vital that all partners can confidently identify each safe word/gesture/sound and know what they mean. We recommend following a “Green, Yellow, Red” format as you choose. Green indicates that the scene is going well, Yellow indicates that the scene needs to slow down, and Red indicates that the scene needs to immediately stop.

• Discuss what play will be done and how

• Determine the dynamic between all partners

• Discuss boundaries, including soft limits and hard limits 

• Determine what gear will be used 

• Determine how long the scene will be 

• Discuss medical conditions both physical and psychological. Be sure to include possible triggers and discuss how they can be avoided.

• Determine what sexual protection will be used, if any 

• Determine how the scene will be ended immediately if needed

• Have at least 2 negotiations: at least a day before the scene and right before the scene. Prior to starting the scene, check in with each other. Ask about what headspace everyone is in and how they’re feeling about the scene. 

• Discuss aftercare expectations and needs.

  
  

Anal Aftercare

Anal sex aftercare means taking care of your anus and partner after sex. People often talk about the preparation that comes with anal sex and rarely discuss what to do post-sex.

Here's a few ideas you can incorporate in your next aftercare session:

• Discuss the session with your partner. After the session, discuss how things went with your partner. Share what you liked and disliked. If your partner did not enjoy something you did, don’t take their opinion personally. Instead, listen and make adjustments in the future.

• Take a warm shower/bath. You and your partner need to shower after playing because anal play involves playing with bacteria. Be sure to clean your butt thoroughly but be gentle with yourself. If you feel sore after playing, use an ice pack. This is especially applicable if you’re training for more extreme forms of anal play. Soreness is likely and taking time to recover is important. Using an ice pack will reduce inflammation and speed up your recovery. A good moisturiser is also a must, a good emollient with healing qualities will help with comfort and speedy recovery.

• Clean sex toys and items used. Properly discard used condoms and latex gloves, wash stained towels or sheets, and clean your sex toys with soapy, hot water and if they’re made with premium-grade silicone, consider boiling them. We recommend washing your toys with antibacterial sex toy cleaner. After washing, make sure you rinse off any soap remnant to avoid anus irritation the next time you use your toys.

• Take time to recover in between sessions. Don’t train while you’re sore. Although it takes multiple sessions to reach your anal play goals, we highly recommend taking at least a day between anal play sessions (especially if you are exploring more extreme forms of anal play). Depending on what type of training you’ve been doing, your hole, rectum, and/or intestine might feel sore. Soreness is a sign that your body is healing and recovering, and it’s important to listen to it.

Are You Ready for Anal Play? 

We hope this guide tells you everything you need to know about anal play. There are various types of anal play, and whether you are a beginner or an anal lover looking for something more advanced, we encourage you to read up before sticking anything up the bum! There is a large variety of anal toys out there – explore our selection of premium anal gear and find what you need to explore your fantasies.